wait...
did you just see me there?
trying to be someone else? laughing at something that's not even funny?
with someone i barely know?

ok...
that is definitely not me!

i'm taking a friend as a friend

please just try to understand me....
if you are really my friend

out of reach

this song makes me cry... it's true and it hurts me...
a song by gabrielle, out of reach...
for you...

Knew the signs
Wasn’t right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you,
And now I feel like the fool.

So confused, my hearts bruised,
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far,
I never had you heart,
Out of reach, couldn’t see,
We were never meant to be.

Catch myself from despair,
I could drown if I stay here,
Keeping busy every day,
I know I will be okay.

But I was
So confused, my hearts bruised,
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far,
I never had your heart,
Out of reach, couldn’t see,
We were never meant to be.

So much hurt, so much pain,
Takes a while to regain what is lost inside,
And I hope that in time, you’ll be out of my mind.
I’ll be over you.

But now i’m
So confused, my hearts bruised,
Was I ever loved by you.

Out of reach, so far,
I never had your heart,
Out of reach, couldn’t see,
We were never meant to be.

Out of reach, so far,
You never gave your heart,
In my reach, I can see,
There’s a life out there for me.

senin, 29 november 2004



i'm feeling kinda hurts
don't know what to do
don't know what's wrong with me

i'm only hurting my own feeling and i can do nothing about it...

you cant realize how fast love is coming
but you'll know how fast it gone....

you cant realize how precious she is
but you'll know it when she's gone...

you cant see how beautiful love is
but you'll know how much it hurt you...

so when a little happiness come, think about if she's away
learn how to love... and you'll be loved

buat Gio.... love her !

don't you know

.................you don't know how much you hurt me
all the little things you do makes me cry
and i don't even know how to tell you
that you made me fall so deep
and that kind of love hurts me so

.................why can't you see how much i love you?





i really do love you

real hurt

tengah malam... sampai menemukan puisi ini.... dengan sedikit penyesuaian...

Real Hurt PART 1

by Bruce Evens

Real hurt is seeing you...
and not toching your body or heart.
Real hurt is knowing...
knowing how close we became that night
and how so far apart that week.

Real hurt is smelling you...
and knowing that the breeze you leave
as you walk by , is as close to your sent I"ll get.
Real hurt is being...
being like a sister and trying to be a friend.

Real hurt is...

this is....me

i don't know who i am
i don't know what i've done

am i the right person in the wrong place wrong time wrong friends?

or are they all perfect....
and it's me the one who's wrong ?

why can't i just have a normal life, a normal things like they all have ?
God, you know, i'm not that strong.....


.....this is beLLa

friends ?????

aku muak melihat kebencian yang ada di sekitarku dan aku muak berada di tengah-tengahnya.
tidakkah kalian lelah membenci dan mencaci?
lihat yang mereka lakukan hingga kalian membenci, tidakkah itu sama dengan yang kalian lakukan?
jangan kalian mengeluh dibenci karena kalian pun membenci mereka.
lihatlah, kita yang merusak diri kita sendiri...
masih adakah arti pertemanan ini bagi kalian?

tolong.... bukankah kita sama-sama lelah?


bandung, 12 oktober 2004
aku minta maaf

today....

hari ini dimulai dengan kemarahan
diwarnai dengan kesalahan
dan diakhiri dengan ketulusan sebuah maaf

hari ini indah...




28 sept 2004

today....

today i rethink of my life, what've i done and everything
ternyata hidup itu melelahkan, atau cuma hidup gw aja yang melelahkan
ternyata ber-relationship juga melelahkan, atau cuma gw aja yang ngerasa
ternyata segala ucapan dan tingkah laku gw terlihat oleh orang lain
ternyata antara gw dan orang lain itu juga saling mempengaruhi
secara sadar dan tidak
ternyata menjaga pertemanan itu tidak semudah mendapatkannya
ternyata tidak selamanya seorang sahabat bisa bersahabat, termasuk gw
ternyata kata maaf itu berarti banyak
ternyata kata terima kasih itu berarti banyak juga

jadi buat teman-teman gw....
terimakasih buat segala yang kalian lakukan buat gw
dan maaf untuk hal-hal yang gw lakukan atau nggak gw lakukan buat kalian

....you do mean a lot for me....

through many sun ,through many stars
i've followed the path people gave me
rain and thunder make me stronger
and i'm bigger than ever...
but once i looked down to my heart
the scar you made can't fade away
and it still hurts me...



july 1st, 2004

for the good and bad,
fot the joy and sad,
for the love and mad,
i'll fight for us,
cause i know you'll be there and do the same


buat tio
march 18th, 2004

hei, kalau lain kali kalian mengaca
tertawalah !
kita semua bermuka dua
selalu mengulas senyum,
berhina bina di belakangku.
tak apa, toh semua orang begitu
aku sudah tahu, aku sudah siap
teruskan saja senyum dan hina kalian
tunggu saja waktu matiku
dan lihatlah kata apa dari mulut kalian
atau mungkin... kutunggu waktu matimu
hei, orang mati takkan kembali..



buat teman-temanku
18\4\04

hate

tak perlu aku membela diri di kepadamu
siapa kamu?
terserah apa kotoran di pikiranmu
hujat, hinalah aku
teruskan omongmu sampai kau puas
apa hakmu ikut dalam hidupku?
terserah aku mau mati hari ini atau besok
dosa itu milikku

march, 19th, 2004

exhale, baby

it's better that you know
that you don't have someone who'll listen to you
someone you can trust
it's much better than you think you have someone
but you don't....

april 2004

hurted

hurted... and so i'm done
easily begun not ending so simple
we dream so high, we try so hard
hurted... can't let go