Ada kisahnya

Dibalik tawanya orang itu bercerita

Tentang masa lalunya

Sakitnya ketika ada perpisahan

Namun cukup kenangan untuk mendewasakannya

Lalu katanya,sudahlah, nak

Jangan kau sesali apa yang baru kau alami

Suatu saat kau akan menjadi seperti aku

Dan bisa menceritakan sakitmu dengan tawa

Berhentilah menangis, nak

Biarlah kau lakukan apa yang kau mau

Apapun….

Selama kau yakini langkahmu

7 januari, 2004

untuk sahabatku

another poem from back then..

Kalau saja kau tau betapa besar cintaku padamu

Mungkin kau mengerti mengapa aku terbaring terliput debu,

agar kau tetap melangkah tanpa menginjak lumpur

august 5^th, 2003

I do love you, t.

takkan kubersujud padamu

sujudku hanya untukNya

takkan kumemohon padamu

kau takkan mengertiku

takkan kumeminta padamu

lalu kau beri tanpa rela

takkan kumenangis untukmu

air mata tak bisa berbicara

takkan kujelaskan padamu

dan menjadikan salah selalu aku

yang kan kulakukan hanyalah tersenyum…

dan berharap kau paham…

24 juni ‘03

harusnya tak ada rasa itu

bila kutau akan menyiksaku

harusnya kuenyahkan kau dari diriku tapi aku tak bisa,

jadi maafkanlah aku karena hatiku memilihmu…

22 mei 2002 22.24

maafkanlah aku karena kau sangat berarti untukku…

semua sakitku dapat kau obati

hanya dengan genggaman

tanganmu…

mei 12, ‘02

02.22 a.m

aku berharap untuk dapat hidup dua kali

kali ini kan kupinta jalanku

kan kuhadapi sulitnya

kan kutiti tepiannya

kan kutelan sakitnya

namun kan kupinta…

perbedaan takkan punya hak lagi

untuk dijadikan alasan memisahkan

14 april 2002

d

aku takkan bisa tanpamu

dan bagaimana kau mengharap aku bisa

bila cinta dan jiwaku kau bawa pergi

Cinta ini hanya kita yang rasa

Hanya kita yang dapat membunuhnya

Kumohon bukan aku, dan bukan kamu

Kumohon bukan kita…

3rd february 2002

i don't want no tears
too many painfull thoughts
too many heartache

i don't ask for tears
fights and another pain

but if loving you comes with it
then i'll take it all
with all my hopes
and i'll fight for it
with all my strenght




04.05.07 22.54
for you, as always

aku, airmata dan hatiku
aku yang terluka
aku yang menangis
aku yang berairmata

aku, kau iris dengan senyum
dan kau tetesi airmata
aku, kau tanamkan cinta dengan dalam
lalu kau cabuti satu persatu
tak kau hiraukan darah yang mengalir

dan kau pergi menutup luka yang lain

tak kau hiraukan
aku, airmata dan hatiku





end of april 2007

lately the happiness doesn't bring any laughter
and the sadness doesn't bring any tears
even the hurt doesn't give me any pain

who am i to You?

i felt my strenght
and i also felt Yours
i am dependent

i am Yours

so i sat on my knees
laying my head down on the ground
praising You

You are everything

thank You for life
thank You for everything
thank You for myself

gasp...

gasping...


choked, choked, choked


can't breath

can't taste the air

can't live


help..





need you..















help..




























*sigh

i need surprises
i need changes and suddeness

i need surprises

to even love you more

i found you
i finally found you

the affection that i always need
the affection that i have to share
the similarity on it


oh, how small that is
just a kiss kiss
and a hug

oh, how small that is

but i finaly found my match...




damned you for making it hard!

friday.may 4.2007 23.14
overheard myself talking to the sacred soul in the ceiling of my room
she asked too much

>>do you ever wonder... how much's the price of yourself?
>>do you ever know how much is enough for yourself?

the sacred soul laughing haha but she barely even listen

tick tock and 23.14 became 23.57
she kept talking and talking and really doesn't want to hear
sometimes people just need to be selfish, really need to
she kept asking too much

>>do you ever think, really think hard, that you don't deserve these?
>>do you ever feel, does he worth all the fights? all your pain?
>> does he?

the sacred soul still laughing haha and started to leave, it's all a big joke
but it's not funny for her...
haha!

march 27, 2007.

09.25.a.m
[alarm]
someone's coming. someone's getting closer. someone might get hurt.

09.56.a.m
[ring]
he's calling. he's hurting.

11.08 a.m.
[reminder]
remind myself to be brave. just remember that you're a tough girl. you don't need a someone else to tell you that.

i need to feel free, need to be able to be myself
i need to feel my guilt, need to break my mourn

i need to remember what i'm used to be
need to understand that i'm tough
need to know that i can get through this shits

i need to be me,
and i don't need you for that !





march 23,07. 12.52pm